I know its been 8 months.
For those of you who have loyally kept checking and asking and waiting for me to return- thank you.
I am back, but I am in no way the same. In 8 months since I last posted Ive lived a thousand lifetimes ..some of them in which a single day could go on and on forever in its sameness, and tested my sanity ........and in others I was crawling thru the hours and minutes slowly and painfully but with definite progress and the end in sight.
In those lifetimes most of my progress was measured by the people who popped up out of my past to pull me, push me or crawl alongside me. In other lifetimes I was alone and thankful for it as misery needs no company. As always when the misery became overwhelming I was sent help by my sister......her knowing better than anybody that all of my strength and all of my soul lies with other people ...who came to my rescue and gave me back pieces of myself little by little.
It took a long time and was insanely painful while at the same time being unbelievably amazing...much like birth of any kind is ...whether your giving it to a new baby or back to yourself ...and in the end it all was worth it.
Every battle now makes sense and as hindsight is perfect I can see quite clearly that all of it was a LONG TIME COMING and WAY OVERDUE.
Some of you reading this will have NO clue what Im talking about ....or you'll know bit and pieces of the story......seen cracks in my life that you knew couldn't be patched and would eventually cause my world to shatter like a long neglected windshield ......completely exposing me to the real world and causing numerous deep cuts in the process.
For those of you that saw the writing on the wall and feel guilty for allowing me to continue driving faster than I should have, knowing the window that protected me was going to give way while I was full speed ahead and blindfolded.........DONT.
It had to happen, Im glad it did, and I wouldnt change a thing.
For those that dont know .....you will soon.
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