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Twas the night before Christmas
And all thru the house ...
not a creature was stirring ...
but we hoped for the mouse .
The giftys were placed under the tree with care .....
but all we really wanted was for Patty to be there .
( despite the poem ...I know shes here now . She made her presence known very strongly tonite as I cried my way thru wrapping too many presents . )
He is such a good dad ..so involved in their everyday lives ... and they have him completely wrapped around their little fingers ....just like I did with my father.
Hes the only man I ever met who said he did NOT want a son ...and instead wanted a house full of girls ....who tend to stay affectionate longer, and closer to home . Although were now at three girls ...two by birth and one from my sister .................I dont feel "done yet ".
While I cant promise him another girl ...I know for sure there is another baby out there .....and although I was always really firm on wanting all girls aswell , I do think it would be amazing to watch him with his son . However, with three older sisters who are sure to want to help take care of him , I do think Gary might have to fight for time with his son ( not yet made or born ! ). Most people think of having the boy first , so that he can then watch over the girls ......not me. I think it would be a bonus having the boy at the end, so that he has a father to teach him how to be a man but three sisters and a mother to show him how to treat women and find that balance that will keep him happy, affectionate and OUT OF TROUBLE !
( and trust me .....my girls wont need a man to watch over them. Theyre mine and Pattys after all...and anybody who knows us even from the time we were little ..knew better than to try to mess us around .)
Not too many words today , just thinking about my sister who came to me clearly in my dreams the other night . I have no idea what she was doing on a ladder outside my window , but maybe she figured it worked for Gary so why not ???
Simba Loo or " The Ba " as Alex calls her is Alexs best friend , pillow , jumping bag and most loyal and protective personal warrior . I feel bad for anybody who Simba doesnt like getting too close to " her " baby . When a dog this size gets started ....its almost impossible to stop . Alex is just starting to REALLY climb and ride Simba just like her own personal house horse . Neither Gabby nor Katey really were into riding her ...and although Simba watches out for all the girls , her special bond is with Alex ...which is amazing to watch .
I wouldn't call myself an over emotional person ....I really am not the type to cry as my little ones go off to school but I wasn't really sure how I was going to handle the day ...I had a bad night with missing my sister...esp after coming across her old pill box and throwing out the last of the pills that keep her alive ...wishing they had done their job a little better .
Patches and pills with important names like Lyrica, Morphine, Fentanyl and Prednisone stared up at me from the now dusty box where they'd been forgotten ...as if in both shock that somebody would desert a powerful lot of pills such as they ......and shame for being unable to live up to their expectations ...such big names for pills so tiny .....prized for the miracles they can deliver ......but for my sister in the end ....so useless.
For as long as I could remember those orange bottles were such a part of Patty's life , that even holding them was unbearable , knowing they failed her ...and feeling like I did .
Things are so much quieter and empty without my sister around ...its a huge relief not hearing her cry in pain on bad days ..or watch her struggle to do things with hands and feet that wouldn't cooperate .....but its so lonely not hearing her constant chatter and utterly INSANE and contagious laughter on her good days ................peace does indeed have its price . The peace is hers, the price is ours.
So on Gabby's big day , I had a lot of regrets and their baggage coming at me from different angles . Not so much in seeing Gabby off , but in NOT seeing her MOTHER see her off .
I let Gabby sleep over her Nanny's before the big day . My mother being the polar opposite of me .....an extremely emotional person ...crying over anything and everything ...and first day send offs are very special to her . Watching my mother dress Gabby in her ( sinfully ugly ) Catholic School uniform , I suddenly remembered MY first day of school and even what I wore .....making the whole thing slightly surreal .
I also ran into my sister on the way into my mothers house ..as I was going up the stairs I got a very strange feeling that my sister was sitting on the steps ( smoking a cigarette no less ) and I had just somehow walked THRU her . I even heard her voice CLEAR AS DAY say " HI SUE " . It was so real I actually said "HI PAT" just like I had a million times over the many years I had stepped over her or around her to get into my mothers house .
Of course she was there , her little girl was about to start her first day of school .
As they say the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step . This is the same step Gabbys mother and I took over 20 years ago ....holding onto that same hand in front of that same house. Now its Gabbys turn , and I hope when she looked back at me ....she saw both her Mother and I sending her off .
Took the girls to White Post Farms for their Bounce and Splash Weekend ....and as usual I was really impressed with how they had everything set up . There was a circle area of all bounce houses , water slides , and all other sorts of inflatable slides for the kids . They had it set up so that there werent lines for the kids to wait on , there was enough space for everyone to spread out and the kids could just run all over and get right on whatever they wanted . In other words ...heaven for kids .
Thats Katey making it to the top of the big yellow ride in the background of the first picture . No small feat for one so tiny.
Inside the bouncy house ...I was trying to take this thru the netting ..not the easiest thing to do ..esp as I had Alex and was juggling the camera with one hand , while the silly ride bounced all over the place .
They also had a HUGE double ring area for pony rides in a gorgeous area that looked more like a resort than your typical pony ride track .
KATEY LOVED IT SO MUCH SHE WENT TWICE.
It was a really nice way to end the summer and start facing the reality of SCHOOL again .
Kindergarden is calling .....but I really wish Gabby wouldnt answer !
